The Weeknd turns 27 today, so last weekend he celebrated as any functioning adult would: a huge surprise party at Dave & Busters in Hollywood. Yeah, that happened. The same guy who sings about codeine and people being tied up spent his birthday eating shitty chicken fingers and trying to win enough tickets to buy a blender.

In attendance were The Weeknds rapper friends Big Sean and 2 Chainz, who we can honestly imagine being really fucking good at Dance Dance Revolution. Unfortunately, Selena Gomez was in New York for fashion week, so she couldnt be there. But she made sure her presence was felt by picking up the $30,000 bill for the party on her credit card.

Theres a lot to unpack here. First, how the FUCK do you spend $30,000 in one night at Dave & Busters? Thats like, a full year’s salary for a shitty teaching job. Sure, Dave & Buster’s is fun for like, a camp counselor staff party, but it’s notfun that you should be spending long enough to rack up a $30,000 tab. Seriously, WTF were you doing in there? If that 30K figure included the drug budget, then I couldsee it. But even then, it’s a stretch.

Secondly, of course it was nice for Selena to pay for the party, but being at fashion week honestly seems like a very Bella Hadid excuse. Like sorry Selena Gomez, but what do you have going on at New York Fashion Week thats soooo pressing you couldnt catch a red-eye to LA for the night? Shes obviously not hurting for money. Then again, I would make up any bullshit excuse to not have to spend an evening at an arcade. So, I get it.

Whatever, I’m getting cheese fries Selenas birthday is in July and we expect a whole Chuck E. Cheese to be rented out. Go big or go home, right?

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