Image: AP/REX/Shutterstock

Eyeing a pelvic floor exercise tracker, but not ready to commit to the purchase?

Just go back in time, become a promising actress, land a film role, score an Oscar nomination and reach out to the marketing company putting together a swag bag for this year’s nominees including, you guessed it, a pelvic exercise floor tracker.

Los Angeles-based marketing firm Distinctive Assets is not in any way affiliated with the Oscars in fact, the Academy has sued to put a stop to this nonsense and there’s no evidence that they’re actually distributed to nominees, but that hasn’t stopped them from publicizing it every year.

Items in the very unofficial Academy Awards gift bag for 2017 total about $100,000 and are as over-the-top as ever. While this year’s bag includes a few big-ticket items like a three-day stay at a private California mansion we’re more interested in the stuff that’s actually useful. For example:

[H/T: Insider]

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